(Habits 4-6 Interdependence)
Habit 4: Think win/win
In interactions with people, you truly can have mutually beneficial conclusions. For example, in a business deal, you could have a situation where you negotiate a deal that is beneficial both to the buyer and to the supplier. There doesn’t have to be situations where only one party wins, and the other loses, or have both parties lose.
Likewise, you don’t have to be submissive to others or give in to seek approval (Lose/Win) or always have to dominate others and have it be winner-take-all (Win/Lose). And you don’t have to have the worst situation of all: Lose/Lose. Lose/Lose is the war mentality. Both parties are vindictive towards each other, and nobody wins.
Within a company, it doesn’t have to be so competitive between employees or so stressful between employees and managers. The company could have a positive work environment instead of an environment where everyone is trying to best each other. There could be a corporate environment where everyone genuinely cares about each other and the company, and want to help each other and the company out.
Win/Win or No Deal: If you can’t negotiate a win/win, you can always choose no deal. It is better not to ruin a relationship over a deal, and probably you could negotiate something else later.
Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood
This habit is basically about becoming a good listener and developing empathy. So often, when people interact, they don’t actually really care about what the other person is saying, they are just waiting for their turn to speak. Being a good listener involves trying your best to understand the other person. To try to imagine yourself in their shoes.
Oh course, people do not always say what they are thinking or feeling. In order to get someone to really trust you, you need to get them to believe that you really are listening to their concerns, that you care about him or her, and that you are empathetic.
My favorite idea from the chapter is “diagnose before you prescribe.” He gives the analogy of a doctor seeing a patient. Any good doctor must first diagnose a problem before prescribing a solution. Likewise, an empathetic person should try first to understand a person, remembering that people don’t always explicitly say what they mean or what they are thinking, and then prescribe.
Habit 6: Synergy. (The whole is greater than the sum of the parts)
On what synergy is, Covey says, “If you put two pieces of wood together, the roots comingle and improve the quality of the soil so that both plants will grow better than if they were separated. If you put two pieces of wood together, they will hold much more than the total of the weight held by each separately. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. One plus one equals three or more.” pg 263.
Covey talks about how the concept of synergy can be applied to all aspects of life: personal, business, academic, and more. In addition, the idea of valuing differences is discussed.
Habit 7: Sharpen The Saw
This habit is about continually improving your skills in habits 1 – 6. Covey says, “Habit 7 is personal PC. It’s preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have – you. It’s renewing the four dimensions of your nature – physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional.” pg 288
One is never finished with the 7 habits. You will need to work on the 7 habits, daily, in order to achieve the most success in all aspects of life. “The Daily Private Victory – a minimum of one hour per day in renewal of the physical, spiritual, and mental dimensions – is the key to the development of the Seven Habits and it’s completely within your Circle of Influence. It is the Quadrant II focus time necessary to integrate these habits into your life, to become principle-centered.” pg 304
I think a very inspiring quote from the chapter is, “Your economic security does not lie in your job; it lies in your own power to produce – to think, to learn, to create, to adapt. That’s true financial independence. It’s not having wealth; it’s having the power to produce wealth. It’s intrinsic.” pg 304
Buying The Book
I definitely recommend buying a copy of this book because it is so good, and you will likely reference it a lot and/or re-read it. You can order a copy of the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change here
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What did you think of this summary? Do you have anything to add? Let’s discuss this in the comments below.